Betwixt

I was stuck in-between two worlds. The world we know as reality and the world of which we have labeled as spirituality...

A big part of myself has always questioned everything around me ever since these thing's started happening to me. I look at what we call reality or day to day life very much as an illusion. I have been shown time and time again that we have absolutely no idea what is really going on around us, not really. After the sleep paralysis episode at the social gathering I attended happened, I was shaken. I big part of me had hoped that whatever had been going on with me was tied to the house at Winding Stream Trail but this proved to me it wasn't anything to do with the house. It wasn't anything to do with the property or it's past history. It was entirely to do with me. Whatever it was, was following me. It had been following me for years but for exactly how long, I am not sure. I began partaking in cannabis more often, it relaxed me and seemed to help me cope more with all the crazy shit I was going through. Looking back now, I realise I was just trying to find a way to distract myself from what was really going on around me but it didn't stop it. 

My sister (J.G.) reached out to me one evening and invited me to come hang out with her and her boyfriend (J.C.) at the time. At this point it had been years since we had talked to each other about anything paranormal going on with us. So she had no clue that my sleep paralysis episodes had become more frequent or that I was even seeing the shadow spirit again. I had been keeping these thing's (mostly) to myself. Last time we spoke on the subject was after our Mom had passed away in 2011 when I was 21. Almost 6 years had passed since then. My friend at the time (KF) that I mentioned in my last entry, came with me that evening to hang out with them. He drove us to meet them at (J.C.)'s house. When we arrived the sun was starting to set and my sister and her boyfriend had already started cracking open a couple of cold ones and winding down for the evening. So (KF) and I indulged in some beer and cannabis while we spent hours sitting on the front porch listening to music and talking well into the night. 

Once again we decided it was best not to drive under the influence, so we decided to crash there until morning. In the living room there was 2 couches and 1 recliner. The four of us eventually migrated to the living room to end the night watching a movie. (KF) and I sat on one couch while (J.G.) and (J.C.) sat on the other. At some point I had fallen asleep and when I woke up the room was dark and everyone was obviously asleep in bed. Laying on the other end of the couch with me was (KF). I really needed to use the restroom so I got up and made my way to the bathroom which was only a few paces away. When I came back, I decided to sleep in the chair recliner. As I was falling to sleep I could slowly feel that familiar feeling of heaviness begin to spread over my body like a blanket. I knew it was coming so I didn't fight it. I struggled a little bit to open my eye's but when I did finally manage to, I could see it standing there over me next to the recliner chair. I just stared at it and it just stood there and stared back at me, slightly tilting it's head to one side as if very curious. It was a solid black mass of a bald human-alien like figure. It's arms and legs were longer than a normal human and it's head was more oval instead of round. I could see the rest of the living room around me, (KF) was still asleep on the couch to my left, and I could see the ceiling fan spinning above me. As I always do I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

These episodes were becoming so frequent that they no longer really scared me. Nor, thinking back on it, did this shadow spirit ever give off a malicious energy when it would visit me. I didn't understand why it kept visiting me or what the purpose behind any of it was. It wasn't like the lady in black or the evil entity behind the malicious laughter in the other SP episode. All I could take from it was it wanted me to know it was there but why? That was always the recurring question: "Why?" Then I would ask myself who? When I was wide awake and the shadow spirit back in 2011 made contact with me, I thought then it may have been my Mom because of how recently she had passed in regards to time-frame. Now, I know I didn't know shit.