Saturday, May 14, 2022

Winding Stream Trail PT2 - Down The Rabbit Hole

After my experience with the Lady in Black, I really started researching the matter a lot more. I had reached the point to where I knew it wasn't all just in my head, it wasn't all just one big elaborate coincidence. What ever was going on and what ever was happening to me, even though it hadn't been consistent over the year's, was definitely happening. It was 100% real to me and I felt the only way I was going to find any answer's was going to be by learning as much as I could about the paranormal, sleep paralysis, astral projection, spirits/shadow spirits, spirituality, astrology, numerology, reincarnation, the list really does go on. For the better part of almost two weeks all I did in my free time was research, watch video's on Youtube, watch documentaries, watch paranormal tv shows, and do more research in between. I became borderline obsessed and even took it upon myself to rearrange the bedroom in a way that was supposed to improve Feng Shui and moved the bed away from the window (where it was positioned previously). 

Toward's the end of this two week period I had another episode of sleep paralysis (So much for Feng Shui). This was the first time I had experienced episodes so closely together. There was at least a year or two that seperated my first two episodes. This one also happened as I was falling to sleep and not waking up. I remember on this particular night I was having a really hard time getting comfortable and falling to sleep. I am not certain how long I was tossing and turning for but it had to of been for at least a few hours. I just remember at one point being aware that I felt like I was floating down, what I can only describe as a stream of soft silk. It flowed like water in a stream but was so soft and didn't have a cool or warm sensation to it. I distinctly remember thinking to myself "This feels really nice, I am just going to relax and see where this goes." because I had been struggling to fall asleep for so long. I was extremely naive to think this way after what I had went through previously. This relaxing and somewhat soothing experience quickly turned into something much more disturbing. 

As I began to indulge in the silky river and allow myself to drift off , I was met with the most evil and sinister sounding laugh you could possibly imagine coming from outside around me. Not in my head but right next to me at my bedside in my bedroom. Though my body was paralyzed there wasn't a sensation of heaviness on my body like there had been before in previous episodes, and even though it was a struggle I was able to fight to open my eyes enough to see around me. That usual intense fight or flight emotional response was more than apparent and once again, I was all fight. I felt like whatever this thing was, was intentionally trying to scare me. Like, it was getting some kind of sick twisted enjoyment out of tormenting me. I mustered all the strength I could in my neck to turn my head to the side of the bed where this laughter was coming from. The challenge of struggling to open my eyes was just as diffcult but I was eventually able to get my sight positioned exactly where it would of been standing but there was nothing there. I couldn't see anything at all. I'm not quite sure if most people would have the same responses to these thing's as I do but I instantly got pissed off. 

I began to order my brain to snap out of it and every muscle in my body to start moving. I wasn't about to try to force myself to go to sleep after this. After some time writhing I was able to finally force myself up and awake. I sat up straight in bed, right away looking around the room, my eye's darting to every nook, cranny, and crevice. The room was dimly lit by a silent TV screen, the only noise coming from the ceiling fan above. My husband at the time was once again asleep soundly next to me, nonethewiser to anything that had just happened. I didn't understand what was going on and I had no one to talk to about it. The few people I did decide to share it with, usually didn't even know how to respond. Thing's only continued to ramp up after this.

My energy levels started to greatly decrease. I was sleeping 12 to 16 hours a day and sometimes more. No matter how much or how little sleep I got, I would feel completely exhausted. Forcing myself up and scraping myself out of bed to even go to work was misery. At this particular point in time I was going through a lot in my private life and I was extremely unhappy in a lot of area's. Depression from private life combined with confusion and frustration about all the thing's going on with me and around me that didn't make sense, depleted my energy entirely. I can't recall how much time exactly had passed in between but eventually I began to get woken up while sleeping, very regularly, to my name being called. Sometimes it would sound male, other times like a female. There were times it sounded demonic or even robotic but the voice never sounded the same each time it would happen. 

In the coming weeks that turned into months, I was spending a lot of time alone by myself. I would spend a lot of my time sitting at my PC in the computer room, usually playing video games and listening to music. On this particular day I was sitting at my computer desk playing World of Warcraft with a friend of mine who lived in Texas, we will call him C.N. We were on voice chat through Discord and we had just entered into a battle ground (PVP arena). All of a sudden my entire computer just shuts off completely and so does the light in the room. I look over at my husband at the time's computer desk (as it was close by to mine) and his computer was still on and running like normal. At first I thought it was a simple power surge or a blip since the house was quite old but then I started to feel that weird type of energy start to build up in the room around me. That same kind of energy I felt all those years ago when I was 14 in Panama City Beach, Fla. The room started to feel really heavy, like there were too many people crowded into one room, even though I was home completely alone. I don't know why but I began to feel extremely unsafe and I told myself to just leave. I low key started to panic and decided to call my friend back on mobile. I explained to him what was happening and asked him to stay on the phone with me while I got dressed to leave the house. 

My bedroom was located right next door to the computer room. As I walked out of the computer room and into my bedroom it was like whatever it was, I could feel it following me. I grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of jeans from my closet and I tell C.N. to hold on for a few seconds while I get dressed. I sat the phone on the bed and rushed as fast as I could to get dressed. As I am almost finished and pulling my t-shirt over my head, I am instantly frozen in fear. I hear someone standing next to me whispering something incomprehensible into my ear. It was so low, I couldn't even make out if it was supposed to be a male or female voice. I paused for just a few seconds (still hiding within the safety of my cotton threaded t-shirt) to see if it says something else and it DID. I pull my shirt over my head and look next to me revealing nothing is there. I grab my phone and my purse and tell C.N. I am calling my Grandfather to come pick me up. Unfortunately, my car had recently broken down so I was unable to drive. My Grandfather only lived about a 10 minute drive away from me so thankfully it wouldn't take him long to get there. I sat on the steps of my front porch until my Grandfather arrived. 

Even though it was about a 10 minute journey his arrival seemed to take ages. As soon as his car came to a stop in the driveway, I jumped into the passenger side seat. I must have appeared a bit visably shaken because the first thing he asked me was if I was alright? I honestly didn't know what to say or how to begin to explain what was going with me without sounding completely bat-shit crazy. For years I had been experiencing odd things here and there, since being a little girl BUT nothing ever like this. Other than my sister and a few friends here and there over the years, I never spoke to anyone about these types of things. Most of the time it was because I didn't know how to and honestly I didn't want other's to start judging me or thinking that I am crazy because it's the easiest thing to do in these kind's of circumstance's, to just assume someone is crazy or mentally ill over these sort's of topics. Especially, when you come from and live in the bible belt. 

When we arrived at my Grandparent's house my Grandfather and I sat on his porch smoking a cigarette. We sat in silence for a few minutes, I was inwardly trying to decide if I was going to try to open up to him about some of the thing's going on with me or not. I thought to myself the worst that could come of it, was he would think I was a complete fruit loop who's cheese had slid all the way off it's cracker. Instead of laying it all out I just asked him a few question's on the subject matter. I asked him if he ever experienced something he couldn't explain, something that seemed odd and maybe even supernatural? My Grandfather was a man's man, very old school. When and if something upset him emotionally you wouldn't know it, he never cried in front of anyone except maybe my Grandmother, and he wasn't easy to have emotional or even spiritual conversations with. I asked him if he had ever felt thing's or saw thing's he couldn't explain? He looked out into his front yard and took a long drag off of his cigarette. Surprisingly, he nods his head and said "Yes." I am not sure if the shock was apparent on my face but so many questions came flooding into my head, I was extremely curious. He continued on to say that there have been a few times in his life that he has seen or felt something strange but would deal with it by ignoring it. Unfortunately, my curiosity was short lived and I decided to leave it there. 

I was at a crossroads and I knew I had two options. I could either choose to embrace what was going on with me and open myself up to it and possibly find some answers OR I could choose to keep trying to ignore it. 

Well...since trying to ignore it for so many years didn't seem to be working, I took it upon myself to open myself up to the possibility of something that seemed impossible. It was time to travel willingly down that rabbit hole...



No comments:

Post a Comment

Divining - The Tie That Binds.

I used to have this recurring dream after my Godmother (R.H.) passed away when I was thirteen. In the dream, I would always wake up in her b...